Listen to your heart before you tell him goodbye.

I’ve been trying to ignore that potato-stuck-in-my-throat feeling since Friday, but I think it’s about time I share my problem with you guys. Maybe one of you will give me good advice..?

Remember Y? He’s the first guy I dated: only, it was 5 years ago. I was a baby then, but really, it was just silly. Now, 5 years later, we’re ‘friends’ again and umm, he “really really like[s] me.” Initially we just spoke as friends.. Y’know, occasional phone calls and stuff. Something happened then and he didn’t contact me for like, weeks maybe. On Friday he told me that he was scared. Why would a guy be scared of me? Well, because he was “starting to develop feelings for me and was very very scared.” Uhh okayyyy! And what am I supposed to say to that? I just laughed it off.

This is how it all began.. Friday morning, he called me around 7:15 am. I was getting ready for class and decided to call him back later. Naturally, I forgot and didn’t get a chance to call him back. He called me again around noon and left a voice msg. I called him back later. He didn’t answer, so I left him a voice mail. He called me back 15 mins after that, and thank God I had my phone with me. I answered immediately. After the initial formalities, he informed me that he “had an interesting dream about [me].”

“Aww.. Isn’t that cute?” I giggled.
“Can’t you be serious for once?” he asked in probably the coldest tone I’ve ever heard.
“Fine.. What was your dream about?”
“Well.. This is gonna sound really weird…”

To sum it all up, he had a dream in which he was introducing me to his mom and sister. Uhh thank you very much! I have absolutely no intention of meeting his mother. From what I’ve heard, she’s mean and strict. Obviously, Y didn’t tell me that – a mutual friend made this observation. From there on, Y told me that he has been thinking about me a lot. I’ve been down this road before. The guy praises you, then he uses that seductively sweet tone, he talks about how he’s so scared of his feelings for you, and finally asks you to think about “this relationship.” Yeah, I’ve had my fair share of such experiences with all sorts of guys.

Oddly, I didn’t expect this from Y. I was awful to him back in the day; my brother’s best friend (who Y claims has feelings for me) supposedly threatened Y to stay far far away from me. I didn’t know this until a couple of months ago.

Shouldn’t Y be scared? He says he’s scared of his feelings for me, but he still wants me to “consider Us.” I should be the last girl he wants. He knows all about Ex and why it didn’t work out between us. He doesn’t think that Ex is guilty. He believes that since Ex and I had already drifted apart, I shouldn’t blame him for wanting someone who pays more attention to him. He knows that I have the tendency to get sick of people eventually.

That brings us back to why he’s scared. He says that he can wait for us to officially be “together.” Obviously! He has only been in one relationship in five years, and that only lasted a year. He spends his Saturday nights watching tv with cousins. He’s interested in “pimping cars.” Me? I like to shop. I like to bathe in the sun. We’re like North and South. He doesn’t agree with my career choice, but he says he’s okay with it. He doesn’t like me for eating non-zabiha meat. He only eats halal. He hates the kind of clothes I wear. He doesn’t like the fact that I like to party but then again, he doesn’t say anything directly. Hell he says he has friends but I highly doubt that! It’s obvious that it’ll be another year before he can move here, and he says he can wait for that long as long as I’m willing to wait too.

“What if you fall for someone in the mean time?”
“Err Y.. I can’t promise you that. I’m sorry.”

After 50 minutes (maybe a little more!) of “healthy discussion” we decided that I should take some time to think about this arrangement. It’s Tuesday and I’ve been ignoring all of his phone calls. I call him back when I know he won’t answer the phone.

This is scary! His family knows my entire family.. Hell his parents even know where my brothers went to college and who they eventually married. As for my family, my parents don’t even know of his parents’ existence. How can I be sure that he’s not taking revenge for what I did to him 5 years ago? Obviously I’m not in love with him but I know he can hurt me in every possible way. How can I trust him?

Y isn’t good looking.. I mean he isn’t ugly, but I’ve known/dated better looking guys. Clearly, I’m out of my mind.

Yes? No? Give it a shot? Tell him to stay the hell away from me? Just be friends? Tell him to take it one day at a time? I need help here guys..