My best friend is dating a very ugly guy, who also happens to be the son of a millionaire! The guy’s dad owns a god damn plane.. and something that resembles a castle.
And I introduced her to him!
She has gotten more action in two weeks than I have in 7 months. Does that say something about my life?
I walked into the women’s changing room wearing a tee and capris over my swim suit. The room smelled like a mixture of chlorine, sweat, and body wash. The scene became super interesting once I was near the lockers. My eyes fell upon the naked bodies of women standing there – chatting away like it was all perfect. I wanted to throw up. Never had I seen such ugly bodies before. These old women with saggy breasts and hairy bodies. Holy f-ing shit! I wanted to throw up but I kept myself cool. They could have at least worn bras and panties I thought. I lowered my eyes and walked towards another row of lockers. This one had around 3 or 4 young girls changing into their clothes. At least they had towels wrapped around themselves. I still went forward to find an empty row. I smiled when I looked into the mirror and saw a lady getting out of a row 4 blocks behind me… leaving it empty just for me. I quickly changed my direction and walked towards it. I sighed in relief when there was no one there. I opened a locker and stuffed my bag in there. It was all perfect until a brown lady walked in.
“You speak telegu?” she asked.
“Err no I speak Urdu,” I replied .. trying my best not to turn around.
“Same same. What your name? Pakistani?”
“Kurri.. Yes I’m from Pakistan.” I turned around to look at her. She was wearing a pink beaded saari.
“So what you do?” I noticed she was slowly removing her clothes. The last thing I wanted to see was a naked brown woman. White women I can tolerate. Brown I can’t. Especially not very brown women, lol.
“Oh I study at omg-we-were-champions.” I turned my back towards her and removed my clothes. I was wearing a swim suit underneath. No big deal!
“Nayce nayce. You married soon? What your daddy do?” she asked. I could see her reflection in the back of my locker. My mother is brown too but she’s not as hairy as that woman. Shaving?! Waxing?! ANYTHING!!!! Sigh. I still don’t get why she changed her panties but then again.. Not my problem. I tried my best to keep my eyes away from the locker, her, and the mirror. Basically I tried to keep my eyes shut.
“Oh no I’m not getting married. My dad’s a omg-everyone-in-town-knows-him.” I slammed the door of my locker. “Anyway, it was nice meeting you. I have to go now.”
“I have son. He works at pathetic-company-that-is-almost-bankrupt. You want number? You meet him?” she said .. completely ignoring the part about me getting out of there.
“If I see him with you somewhere, I’ll definitely say hi,” I said .. flashing my all-teeth-showing smile.
“Nayce.. You pretty baby. You swim with man in these clothes?”
I decided to ignore her comment. Damn these brown aunties.
Desizzz at diz point lurvvv dat tall guy wid sexccc hairs and kewl clodes. U no dat saym tall dude hoo sangzzz tera mera rishta. Vary kewl. Me lurv cuz me haz no lyf nd he iz shoooo shweeeeet. Yuu no me tlk him 1nc nd musti wz chooo nyccccc!!!
The world just gave me another reason to hate Mustafa Zahid and his three musketeers. Musti’s ugly – someone please take him to the dentist. He’s dating Annie – someone please kick him in the head. He’s a liar – off to hell. He chapofied a song – tsk tsk!
A bunch of years ago, Haider Haleem of Rox3n used to play with this underground band named Sifaar. Sifaar released a video and then disappeared. Hey! My girlfriend Eddie [who can technically never be my girlfriend.. But still] is in the video as well. Two [or so] days ago, Rox3n released a teaser for their new song called ‘Bujh hai gaya.’
Like seriously.. I think his manly features bujh gaye hain. You know.. Er yes I wont be too specific. I just spoke to him about the recent Bujh Hai Gaya controversy. Mango couldn’t be a man so I decided to be a bitch. Musti and I have our own little relationship. We’re both pathetically mean.
Sources have confirmed that Musti chapofied the song. Please open both of these images in a separate window. I insist! Mango’s getting these two other screenshots.. I’ll upload them once he gives them to me.
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