There’s always some reason to feel not good enough

Get this guys..

According to my doctor, I’m 83% more likely to get cancer compared to the rest of the population. That sound bad? I’m also 99.9% more likely to get migraines..

Apparently I already suffer from 8 of the 11 most common symptoms of migraines.

He said that if I don’t tell Father about the migraines, he will. Obviously he can’t do that ‘cuz I’m an adult and he has no right to show my medical records to my parents.. But he will do it because daddy was his boss for the longest time.

Sigh.

This post contains abusive language.. Lots and lots of it.

Son of a bitch!

I have a motherfucking stalker! The kind who takes pictures and sends them to the victim’s family/friends. I haven’t seen the pictures yet but I’ve been told that they are just pictures of me doing normal everyday things. My mother, ever the angel, does not want to talk to the authorities about it. Hell she doesn’t even want to take a look at the pictures.

The bastard is obviously desi..

Paranoid? Hell yeah. I’m not stepping outside the damned house alone. I’m going to tell one of my brothers tomorrow. Sorry Ma! We’re gonna have to take this in our own hands..

Protected: ‘Cause everyone wants to feel like someone cares.

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I am not gonna get hooked up just ’cause you say I should.

My best friend is dating a very ugly guy, who also happens to be the son of a millionaire! The guy’s dad owns a god damn plane.. and something that resembles a castle.

And I introduced her to him!

She has gotten more action in two weeks than I have in 7 months. Does that say something about my life?

Finally content with a past I regret*

March is almost over, and I suddenly feel empty. Have you ever had that feeling before?

In the past three weeks, I’ve read 17 (yes, 17!) books – contemporary romance novels. Every time a book would end, I would go to the library and pick up a new one. I usually finish a 300-something page book in a day or two. I’ve been avoiding my family and friends because I’d rather indulge in the lives of the people in these books – lives that go from not-so-perfect to absolutely amazing. It’s insane.

Tonight as I finished my 17th book, I looked up and let reality hit me. I’m single. I don’t have a date for the biggest ball ever because I refused to go with the four different guys who have asked me. Who am I waiting for? No one in particular. I’d just rather sit in my pjs and drink diet coke rather than go out and dance with a guy who it’s obviously not going to work out with.

This takes me back to how I was two years ago, and yet my friends were right there after I stepped out of it. So tonight, I’ve made a decision. I am going to stop by the library tomorrow and return all those books. I will not pick up any new books, and I will take my friends up on the lunch date. I will hopefully apologize to one of the guys and go to the ball with him. I will slow-dance with him, but I won’t cross the lines.

I won’t be the person I was two years ago. Not again.

* Rascal Flatts – I’m Moving On

I may not know it but these are the moments that I’m gonna remember most.

Today I bought pretty red nailpolish.

I’m not happy, but pretending is fun!

And also..

Surprise Surprise

Daddy bought me a two-bedroom apartment. I’ll be living with my best friend. It’s around 40 mins to an hour away from home (depends on the traffic). Oh it’s gorgeous! I’m moving out in July (or August). It all depends on when I come back from Pakistan

And here’s a question about something that bugs me often. I don’t know if any of you really want to know about Sexy. I know I’ve said so much about him, but so much has changed since the last argument we had. Sigh.. Vote, and we’ll go from there. :]

We shall find peace. We shall hear angels. We shall see the sky sparkling with diamonds.*

Dear Mr. Leader-of-Blowups (and no I’m not referring to you as a blow up doll),

I hope you’re doing well. You remember the last time I wrote to you saying that I’m kind of sick of you? Well, I’m pretty darn sick and tired of listening about you on tv now. You’ve stepped into my territory, and believe me, I’m no less than a bitch. Like bitches, I too prefer my home to be safe and quiet. So, Mr. Blowup, can you please stop attacking my people? There are a lot of things more interesting than killing – like making love all night long. As a gift, I promise I’ll send you a blow up doll for when your wife doesn’t give you any. Fair enough deal, isn’t it?

You see, it’s win-win for both of us. You can go home and make love to your wife. My man won’t be as stressed and I’ll be able to have a good time too (if you know what I mean ).

So Mr. Blowup, please leave my people alone. When they die, I get stressed out. When I get stressed out, my man thinks that I’m about to breakup with him. When my man thinks that I’m about to breakup with him, we argue… and from there things get dirrrrrrrrrrty!

Anyway, leave us? Please?

We’re poor. We’re terrified. But we’re all united. We don’t like you, and you need to understand that.

Again, the offer for an imported blow-up doll is still open. I’ll even throw in a few special toys and movies.

Thanks.

Kurri.

*Anton Chekov

I remember like yesterday the very day I met you

i don’t know if i should be apologizing for being MIA or thanking all of you for putting up with my nonsense. i’m sorry for not replying back to your emails. if i tell you that i’ve been awfully busy doing nothing, will you believe me? i was busy watching movies, talking on the phone, partying, and eating. i was busy appreciating life because seriously, life is too short…too unpredictable.

i spent valentines day with my girlfriends. we watched movies, bitched our moms, discussed diet plans, and danced. we danced until we were breathless, and then we sang. we played cranium and made fools out of ourselves. we recorded videos and took pictures because seriously, life is too short.

i’m myself around Y now. i told him that i want him to move here because i like him and i want things to work out. i told him that i felt special when he added me to his phone-plan’s 5-favs list.

a special child i tutored for six months passed away two weeks ago. two days before that, i played a game of uno with him.

so.. forgive me for being a complete bitch.

sigh.. and now i’m awfully tired so i’m going to bed.

Protected: All eyes on me in the center of the ring just like a circus!

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Protected: Because my parents distributed kharaab mithaai when I was born

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