I’ve moved in to my own apartment. It’s an hour away from home, but I still visit at least once in two weeks. My roommate (flatmate?) and I are getting along just fine, minus the whole fact that I don’t get to see my boyfriend alone for too long.
Boyfriend? His name’s Zoey (not really.. It’s just a variation of his middle name). He’s a couple of months older than me. He’s in med school (so a doctor, yup). He’s neither Indian nor Pakistani. He is Muslim though.. We’ve known each other for three months now but we only officially started going out last week (that’s when he asked me out). He was born and raised here, but he has never had a girlfriend before. He is an athlete (mmm!). Girls, he has a six-pack (I promise. I’ll take a picture of him soon)! Because of him, I’ve started to work out regularly too.
He has a foot-fetish. It’s hilarious! He gives a mean back massage. He’s ticklish, but he won’t let me tell anyone because that means showing weakness and that’s for pussies. Oh, and he secretly watches Spongebob. Adorable! Did I mention his killer rock hard abs? Yummyyyyyyyy!
That’s all folks. Girls, I’ll put up pictures of us soon
Ohhhh boy! This is SO going to one of those posts in which I talk about crap and you guys pretend to care. So much has happened ever since my last post and quite frankly, I just couldn’t be bothered to write about it.
I met McHottie again. This time, however, Sars was at the house with me. What were we doing? Packing a couple of my belongings so she could set our place over the summer. What started off as harmless flirting between Sars and McHottie became a full-on affair ending with both of them doing the horizontal salsa in.. surprise surprise.. THE GUEST BEDROOM OF MY PARENTS’ HOUSE! I’m not in G-land these days but from what I’ve heard, they’re both busy.. Very very busy.
While they get to have a fun summer fling, I’m stuck here looking at my Ex’s gorgeous ass every single day. These stupid cricket games are driving me insane because quite frankly, how can anyone expect me to look at some ugly guys scratching their privates when I could be involved in the perfect kissing fest (although that’s just me wishing).
Unless you couldn’t already tell, I’m not too big on cricket. Neither am I too big on ugly guys.. which is why I completely ignored the guy I sat on the plane with for 15 hours. The flight from Dubai to Pakistan was awesome though. I sat next to a white guy (and of course you know how white guys and I get along)..
Since I have absolutely nothing to do here (other than pretending to hate my Ex) you can all expect tons of posts from me (if I manage to pull myself away from the fifteen books I bought yesterday)..
According to my doctor, I’m 83% more likely to get cancer compared to the rest of the population. That sound bad? I’m also 99.9% more likely to get migraines..
Apparently I already suffer from 8 of the 11 most common symptoms of migraines.
He said that if I don’t tell Father about the migraines, he will. Obviously he can’t do that ‘cuz I’m an adult and he has no right to show my medical records to my parents.. But he will do it because daddy was his boss for the longest time.
I have a motherfucking stalker! The kind who takes pictures and sends them to the victim’s family/friends. I haven’t seen the pictures yet but I’ve been told that they are just pictures of me doing normal everyday things. My mother, ever the angel, does not want to talk to the authorities about it. Hell she doesn’t even want to take a look at the pictures.
The bastard is obviously desi..
Paranoid? Hell yeah. I’m not stepping outside the damned house alone. I’m going to tell one of my brothers tomorrow. Sorry Ma! We’re gonna have to take this in our own hands..
Sars and I spent our first night at our new apartment yesterday. Of course if you put it this way, we sound like lovers.. Sadly, it wasn’t close to being that way. The apartment is still unfurnished. We took two outdoor chairs, two blankets, and a couple of picture frames with us yesterday. By the time we reached there, it was around 9 and we were awfully tired. It didn’t take us more than 15 minutes to unload the car and drag the chairs to the balcony. Our apartment is on the fourth floor. Even though there’s an elevator, it’s on the opposite side of the building and both of us knew we could carry our stuff up the stairs.
“Ugh, he’s awful in bed,” Sars groaned while trying to open her bottle of red wine.
“He wants a relationship,” I replied back in an equally miserable tone.
“It’s like.. It’s like he doesn’t know the difference between my thighs and my vajayjay.”
“Y and A and Sexy all want me and I’m still miserable.”
“Plus he gives those fish kisses.. Those God awful fish kisses.”
“The guy I want won’t give me everything I need and the guy I don’t want is willing to give me everything.. and more. What the fucking hell!”
“Here.” Sars passed me her bag of gummy worms. “I would have offered wine but you’re too good for that. You need the worms more than I do.”
“Oh Fuck. Does that mean I win the whose-life-sucks-more contest?”
Right at that minute, our friend Bo, who happens to be a DJ at a local radio station played Not Fair by Lily Allen.
“Great!” both of us muttered at the same time.
..and that, dear readers, is how we spent our first night at our new apartment. We danced like crazy, bitched our men, and oh, finally decided that she’ll break up with her rich probably-a-virgin-before-he-met-her boyfriend.
Guys, here’s the thing: never get too caught up in yourself when doing the horizontal salsa. At least make sure you’re all the way in. Mwwaahh!
I’ve been trying to ignore that potato-stuck-in-my-throat feeling since Friday, but I think it’s about time I share my problem with you guys. Maybe one of you will give me good advice..?
Remember Y? He’s the first guy I dated: only, it was 5 years ago. I was a baby then, but really, it was just silly. Now, 5 years later, we’re ‘friends’ again and umm, he “really really like[s] me.” Initially we just spoke as friends.. Y’know, occasional phone calls and stuff. Something happened then and he didn’t contact me for like, weeks maybe. On Friday he told me that he was scared. Why would a guy be scared of me? Well, because he was “starting to develop feelings for me and was very very scared.” Uhh okayyyy! And what am I supposed to say to that? I just laughed it off.
This is how it all began.. Friday morning, he called me around 7:15 am. I was getting ready for class and decided to call him back later. Naturally, I forgot and didn’t get a chance to call him back. He called me again around noon and left a voice msg. I called him back later. He didn’t answer, so I left him a voice mail. He called me back 15 mins after that, and thank God I had my phone with me. I answered immediately. After the initial formalities, he informed me that he “had an interesting dream about [me].”
“Aww.. Isn’t that cute?” I giggled.
“Can’t you be serious for once?” he asked in probably the coldest tone I’ve ever heard.
“Fine.. What was your dream about?”
“Well.. This is gonna sound really weird…”
To sum it all up, he had a dream in which he was introducing me to his mom and sister. Uhh thank you very much! I have absolutely no intention of meeting his mother. From what I’ve heard, she’s mean and strict. Obviously, Y didn’t tell me that – a mutual friend made this observation. From there on, Y told me that he has been thinking about me a lot. I’ve been down this road before. The guy praises you, then he uses that seductively sweet tone, he talks about how he’s so scared of his feelings for you, and finally asks you to think about “this relationship.” Yeah, I’ve had my fair share of such experiences with all sorts of guys.
Oddly, I didn’t expect this from Y. I was awful to him back in the day; my brother’s best friend (who Y claims has feelings for me) supposedly threatened Y to stay far far away from me. I didn’t know this until a couple of months ago.
Shouldn’t Y be scared? He says he’s scared of his feelings for me, but he still wants me to “consider Us.” I should be the last girl he wants. He knows all about Ex and why it didn’t work out between us. He doesn’t think that Ex is guilty. He believes that since Ex and I had already drifted apart, I shouldn’t blame him for wanting someone who pays more attention to him. He knows that I have the tendency to get sick of people eventually.
That brings us back to why he’s scared. He says that he can wait for us to officially be “together.” Obviously! He has only been in one relationship in five years, and that only lasted a year. He spends his Saturday nights watching tv with cousins. He’s interested in “pimping cars.” Me? I like to shop. I like to bathe in the sun. We’re like North and South. He doesn’t agree with my career choice, but he says he’s okay with it. He doesn’t like me for eating non-zabiha meat. He only eats halal. He hates the kind of clothes I wear. He doesn’t like the fact that I like to party but then again, he doesn’t say anything directly. Hell he says he has friends but I highly doubt that! It’s obvious that it’ll be another year before he can move here, and he says he can wait for that long as long as I’m willing to wait too.
“What if you fall for someone in the mean time?”
“Err Y.. I can’t promise you that. I’m sorry.”
After 50 minutes (maybe a little more!) of “healthy discussion” we decided that I should take some time to think about this arrangement. It’s Tuesday and I’ve been ignoring all of his phone calls. I call him back when I know he won’t answer the phone.
This is scary! His family knows my entire family.. Hell his parents even know where my brothers went to college and who they eventually married. As for my family, my parents don’t even know of his parents’ existence. How can I be sure that he’s not taking revenge for what I did to him 5 years ago? Obviously I’m not in love with him but I know he can hurt me in every possible way. How can I trust him?
Y isn’t good looking.. I mean he isn’t ugly, but I’ve known/dated better looking guys. Clearly, I’m out of my mind.
Yes? No? Give it a shot? Tell him to stay the hell away from me? Just be friends? Tell him to take it one day at a time? I need help here guys..
My best friend is dating a very ugly guy, who also happens to be the son of a millionaire! The guy’s dad owns a god damn plane.. and something that resembles a castle.
And I introduced her to him!
She has gotten more action in two weeks than I have in 7 months. Does that say something about my life?
A guy I was sharing the jacuzzi with at the gym today told me that I look a lot like Salma Hayek. I think this is the same guy who told me the same thing last summer.
